Thursday, January 12, 2017

"NO WAY WILL I MARRY A NIQABI!"




Niqabis live a life of pressure, let me tell you that, particularly if you happen to live in a non-Muslim country. On one side, you've got people calling you a 'Terrorist! Take Cover!" and the classic "Go back to your own country" (Well thank you, I'm already in my own country). And on the other side it's the pressure from the family "Oh come on, you're too young to wear the Niqab. Enjoy your life more" and of course, the pressure of the world in general... 
 
Niqabis - relatable much?

So anyway, I'm going a bit personal today. And I'll get right into it. Why is it so difficult for a Niqabi to be married? Or I had better rephrase it- Why do Muslim men not want to marry Niqabis? 

I've had the answer to this question in the most bizzare ways. Let me highlight it here.

It's taboo

Actually, a matchmaker told this to my mother. And my mother was just lost for words. I mean, back in the day when the Sahaba women covered their faces, would anyone have told it straight at their faces that it's taboo? Seriously, when did obeying Allah and doing something for Him become taboo? 

It's too extreme
 
So yes, in today's world where the more skin you show, the more free you are, I guess they've got a point in saying Niqabis are extreme. I mean, look at it this way: They choose to be extremely modest so yeah, if you don't want to marry a Niqabi, then it's a valid point you've given. Too extreme indeed.

She's disgusting when she eats out

This again is what a matchmaker told my mother. So apparently, this particular groom was utterly disgusted with the phenomenon of a Niqabi lifting her Niqab to eat her food at the restaurant. Say we Niqabis actually eat disgusting, then how would you know your future wife is going to be a decent eater. I mean, not all people eat decently, right? So what's the big deal? 

 



And umm, since when did our eating become you problem?

She won't talk to guests when they come over after marriage

So apparently, this is how they think we Niqabis are going to react when guests come over

 

... When in fact, we're going to be pretty much like this
 

I mean seriously, do you think that just by wearing the Niqab, we transform into cold-blooded human being that can't tolerate to stay with others? Like, seriously? 

 
So the matchmakers have now started telling my mother that she should ask my sister to remove her Niqab if she has to get married. SubhanAllah, see what the Muslim Ummah is coming to! Of course, it was a flat no because even if it means not getting married, why should we compromise on our values of wearing the Niqab just because someone else doesn't like it? 
 
But you know what- this is a test. Niqabis in my country especially have a real hard time getting married because most men nowadays apparently don't like their wives being covered. Less Hijab she has, the greater her chances of marriage are.

 
But Allah is the one who has already chosen who is to get married to whom. And because we are wearing the Niqab in obedience to Allah, do you think Allah is just going to abandon you like that? He will test you and see if you will take off the Niqab (which unfortunately I've seen many Niqabis do) and if you persist in doing what you are doing, then In sha Allah, when the time is right, Allah will give the best partner. Don't despair dear Niqabis :)

And as a final note, here goes:

 

Saturday, January 7, 2017

THE JOURNEY OF A YOUNG NIQAABI


 
GUEST POST
 

 
'Sinners judge sinners for sinning differently'  - a phrase that I'm sure almost all of us have seen before.
 
Well if you don't know what it means, I'd love to enlighten you.
 
You see, it's the twenty first century and almost everyone can't help but judge the next person; we look at everyone's clothes, their social standing, their relationship status, who they associate themselves with, the acts they do in public and sometimes even try and pry into what they do in private. We judge people for the sins they might have committed and we love to share our newfound information with others, yet if someone were to share our sins with people, we might never feel like leaving our homes.
 
When people suddenly take a step in deen, we classify them as acting 'too holy'  or being a 'show off' yet if we take a step in deen, we might want to tell it to the world or keep it to ourselves. But buttercup, the thing is people's sins and people's good deeds are between them and Allah and our sins and our good deeds are between us and Allah.
 
Let me tell you about my journey and allow you to understand my rant above.
 
Well you see, growing up, my mum wouldn't ever allow me to wear sleeveless clothing or even knee high shorts. I never wore a dress without a leggings or pants underneath and if we were to go out at night I wasn't allowed to leave without a scarf.
 
I always thought it was embarrassing because other people my age or even few years older would wear mini skirts and have their hair loose all night. They were allowed to wear anything anytime. When we attended family occasions I felt odd, all my cousins would be in revealing clothes and I knew they also spoke about what I was wearing. From the age of 10 my mum would try and get me into a scarf as much as possible, and every time I got the opportunity I'd rip it off so fast. When we went on vacation or even to the pool, unlike everyone my age, I wore  'appropriate' clothing and I started to hate it even more and more.
 
Months before my 13th birthday, my family was fortunate enough to be able to go for umrah. During the journey I was only allowed to wear a jilbab out of the hotel. My mum made sure I didn't show a strand of hair.
 
Eventually when I reached the age of puberty, it was a year later than most of the girls in my class, my mum declared it that I can't leave the house without hijab, so I swindled my way about and would roll up my long sleeved clothing and let a little hair show. I would try and get a skinnier jeans or a shorter t-shirt. This went on for what seemed like horrible and long time.
 
In the beginning of 2016, my mum took me shopping to buy new clothes and swim wear for the vacation were going to take. And so I bought clothes, I bought really loose pants, long shirts, loose long sleeve tops and less skinnier jeans. The Friday before we left for our vacation, my mum pulled out a huge packet of black scarfs and told me to take some new ones. While picking the scarfs I came across a niqaab that my mum wore while we went for umrah. Messing around I tried it on and even laughed at how it looked on me. During that vacation, I wore figure fitting swimwear everyday to the beach and I wore tights a few times.
 
It was two weeks after I returned from the vacation, a Monday night, I entered the shower to take a ghusal and while in the shower I thought back to the day I tried on the niqaab.
And during my moment in the shower I remembered something that I learnt from an extra islamiaat class that my mum and I attended. Our teacher spoke about how when Allah chooses to guide somebody, that person should grip onto that thought of increasing their imaan so quickly that it won't even have a chance to move away.
 
So in that shower I gripped onto mine and decided that no matter what. I was going to go into niqaab.
 
When I came out of the bathroom I performed my maghrab salaah and proceeded to message the only niqaabi friend I had at that moment and told her the great news. I don't even think she knows how much our whatsapp conversation helped me with my journey into niqaab.
 
That night I randomly mentioned it to my mum and to the rest of my family. I don't think they were totally ready to hear what I had to say but I didn't let anything bad enter my ears.
 
And so the next morning February 2nd 2016 I started my journey of niqaab.
 
When people seen me at the initial stages they would say ''I wouldn't fully commit to it if I were you. Just try it out for a week or two. You are only 15 years old after all.'' I would just smile and nod at them but deep down in my heart I was saying to myself ''no matter what anybody tells me, I'm not wearing my niqaab for a week or two, I'm going to wear niqaab my whole life''.
 
And so I did it. Almost 11 months down the line and الحمد لله I have never had the thought of ever leaving my journey of niqaab.
 
When people bring up the question "Why did you go into niqaab?" I feel as though I can not really give them the answer they want to hear. But the real reason I went into niqaab is only because my Allah is the most majestic. If it were not for Allah the most high, I certainly  would have never been in niqaab.
 
I feel so safe and so modest with my niqaab on. Yes, I still have weak points of my imaan. And yes, I think my journey of niqaab has strengthened some parts of my imaan. But now when I now see someone with proper hijab, niqaab or even the burqa, I admire them for the strength they have, and when I see people who have not yet reached the level where others have, I admire them for still making an effort,.I am not the one to judge anyone. We all have our own struggles and our struggles do not need to be spoken about in a gossip column or anywhere else for that matter.
We should all just thank Allah for what he has given us and continue making dua for ourselves and one another.
 
And well here I am. I young niqaabi who is still in school, and has not let the media, family, friends, community and the world have a bad influence my decision of niqaab.
 
Also I am grateful to my wonderful mum for keeping up with such a difficult child like me and making sure that I went into hijaab. And I'm extremely grateful to Allah for everything including my wonderful mum.
 
- Zainab from South Africa
 
 
If you would like to share your Hijab or Niqab stories or experiences, send us an email on niqablovers@gmail.com and share your story to inspire Muslimahs all over!
 
* Click here to read other inspirations stories from other sisters, just like you: Guest Posts
 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

"I'M GOING TO HAVE 50 BROTHERS IN JANNAH!"



The other day, my sisters are I (4 in total Alhamdulillah) were talking about how awesome it would be to have a brother. People actually call us a 'ladies hostel' because that's how many ladies we have at home lol so we were moaning about not having a brother. And then my sister was like, "I'm going to have 50 brothers in Jannah!" :)

And you know what? It's true. This Dunya, we don't get everything we want here and life isn't perfect. But, so what? If we live by the Quran and Sunnah, in obedience to Allah, then we can have everything we want in Jannah, In sha Allah, where the blessings are such that no eye has ever seen or no mind has ever perceived.


So it's ok if you didn't get that dress you couldn't afford- you can have something far more amazing in Jannah. It's alright if your skin isn't that perfect here- it'll be flawless in Jannah. It's ok if your life is not perfect here- it'll be complete in Jannah. And it's ok if I don't have a brother here. I can have not 50 but even 500 if I want in Jannah (probably too much to handle I guess?)


Oh and by the way, I recently created an Instagram account. I was playing around with my sisters' accounts and finally decided that I was going to have one of the own so here I am. Please give me a follow. My username is niqabi_nuances. Link here: www.instagram.com/niqabi_nuances


Tuesday, December 27, 2016

10 OCCASSIONS WHEN WE SHOULD "FLEE TO ALLAH"




Just picture this for a moment: A child who has been hurt and is crying and the mother says "Come to me" and the child rushes to her.

Now put it in this perspective - you are hurt and breaking and there Allah says "Flee to Allah". Not come to Allah but flee because you know what? We have no better choice than to flee to Him. The faster to we turn to Allah, the safer we will be.

If our mother called us with affection, we go to her, don't we? And Allah, who loves us 70 times more than her, when He says "Flee to Allah", how much faster should we run. Flee to Him desperately.


1. Flee to Allah when you have sinned

We are human as we sin. That's natural. But the best of sinners are those who repent. No matter how large your sin was, it is not greater than Allah's mercy and forgiveness so turn to Him in repentance. In fact, flee to Him in repentance with a sincere heart. No one forgives as mercifully as Allah does.

2. Flee to Allah when you are hurt


This Dunya, there is hurt everywhere. From your own family even sometimes and at those times when we are heart beyond words, flee to Allah. He knows you are hurt and He is calling you to Him. So go... go to your Lord and you shall find comfort with Him.

3. Flee to Allah when you are confused


You don't know what to do. What is right and what's not. Your mind is confused, you feel lost. So flee to Allah. Tell Him why you feel the way you feel. No matter how confusing you sound even to yourself, He understands.

4. Flee to Allah when everyone has abandoned you

In fact, you should flee to Allah at all times but often, when we are let down by those closest to us, we realize that Allah will never let us down, so flee to Him and hold Him closer to you. He will be right there with you all the time.

5. Flee to Allah when you want to get closer to Him


Ibn al-Qayyim spoke at length explaining that the level of “fleeing to Allah” is one of the levels of those who are striving to reach Allah. Flee from disobedience of Him to obedience to Him. Flee to Him and strive to obey Him. In even the smallest of things. Smile at another Muslim and do it for Allah. You'll attain closeness to Him. Be patient for His Sake and you'll attain closeness to Him. Everything you do, do it for Him. Flee to Him.

6. Flee to Him when you are depressed


‘Amr ibn ‘Uthmaan said: Flee from yourself to your Lord. He also said: "Flee to (and be content with) that which Allah has already decreed for you, and do not rely on your own efforts". Talk to Allah, beg of Him and ask Him. Feeling depressed, that's normal and it happens. But at this time, turn your attention to Allah. Prolong your Duaas, prolong your Sujood. And even if your lips don't utter anything, Allah understands the language of your heart. He knows you are hurting and no one can fix your heart better than Him. So flee to Him.

7. Flee to Allah when you have nowhere else to turn to


When all your paths have become constricted and you just don't know where to turn to, know that the path to Allah has, is and will always be there for you. Just accept His invitation and flee to Him. It's the best thing you can ever do to yourself.

8. Flee to Him when you need help

We turn to people for help and yes, they may help us or they may not. The only One who is guaranteed to help you no matter what is Allah. He is Ar-Razzaq, your Provider and He has taken it upon Himself to provide for you- everything from your parents, to your house to your food and even the very oxygen you are inhaling in right now. So why, when we know that everything we have and want comes only from Allah, don't we flee to Him? Allah called turning back to Him fleeing, because turning to anyone or anything other than Him involves a great deal of fear and negative consequences. In turning to Him there are all the things that one likes, security, happiness and victory.

9. Flee to Him in obedience

Flee from that which Allah hates, both visible and hidden, to that which He loves, both visible and hidden. Flee from ignorance to knowledge, from kufr to faith, from disobedience to obedience, from heedlessness to remembrance (dhikr) of Allah. The one who achieves all of that has fulfilled all the commitments enjoined by Islam, and will no longer have any fears; he will have achieved his ultimate goal.


10. Flee to Him because He is calling you to Him

This one reason is enough. Therefore, run to Him for help. Run to Allah to find solace. Run to Him for indeed all things come from and return to Him in His sublime perfection. Allah loves you and will never abandon you, so never abandon His remembrance and obedience. Do you think that when Allah Himself asks you to flee to Him and when you do, that He will abandon you? No. He will welcome you. With Allah, we are always safe. We always have a place of refuge. A home to finally go to, In sha Allah.


Tuesday, December 13, 2016

ALEPPO, ALLAH'S HELP IS NEAR




We see what's happening in Aleppo and really, words fail me. What kind of a world do we live in. Practically, something worse than the Holocaust was being live documented and tweeted and people saw it, liked, shared and posted it but beyond that, did anyone truly care? Did we think of those innocent children, the homeless, the wounded and the hungry when we reclined on our soft beds? Did we care enough to wake up for Thahajjud and cry silently to Allah, begging for His help on them? If you have, then Alhamdulillah, your heart is alive. 

It's ironic you know how Syria is surrounded by Muslim countries and yet, no one stepped in to actually help them. How long are they going to compete with each other to build the tallest building and make a car out of gold? How much longer are they going to be deluded by the glamour and glitter of this Dunya? Have we been so blinded by all this that we have become deaf to the cries of the Syrians, blind to their suffering and dumb to even speak for them or at least, make Duaa for them? Do we even have a heart left?
 
So what's there to look at get solace in? The Ummah in in tatters. There are plenty of Muslim countries but who is there to speak up on behalf of the oppressed Muslims, not just in Syria but in Palestine, Rohingya, Kashmir, Afghanistan, Yemen, it just goes on... 
 
The Ummah has lost all hope.
 
Except for the promise of Allah and you know what? I've come to realize that when all we've got is empty promises around us, this promise of Allah. .That's enough.
 
This one verse from Surah Baqarah... SubhanAllah, it just paints the perfect picture. It's as though Allah is talking directly to the people of Syria. It's as though He is comforting them. It's so beautiful...
 
Or do you think that you will enter Paradise while such [trial] has not yet come to you as came to those who passed on before you? They were touched by poverty and hardship and were shaken until [even their] messenger and those who believed with him said, "When is the help of Allah?" 
Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near. (Quran 2:214)

 
I studied the Tafseer of this verse about an year back and over here, I'll write what I learnt in that, In sha Allah.
This verse basically says that entering Jannah isn't easy. We have to go through some trials. And note: If we haven't been tested this way even to a small extent then know that it is sure to come in the future. See, the address here is to us, the Muslims. 
 
And on the other hand, if you are facing any difficulties because you are a believer, then know that this isn't strange. It has even happened to the Prophets of Allah.
In this verse specifically, and it really is the perfect picture of Aleppo right now, Allah talks about how they were shaken- زُلْزِلُ is the word used- by one test after another. And isn't this what we are seeing right before our eyes in Aleppo. Be it chemical bombs, being driven out, beaten up, raped... It's all happening there. 
 
The first recipients of this verse was of course, Prophet Muhammad Sallalahu Alaihi Wasallam and his Sahabahs. Meaning, the previous generations, even they suffered. But even when they were tortured, burnt alive, sawed, flesh removed, etc, they did not give up on their Imaan. So what are the tests we face and what are the negativism we face and SubhanAllah, how vulnerable are we to what we face?
 
So, they were tried and tested and pushed so much so that even their messenger and those who believed with him said "When is the help of Allah?" And isn't this precisely what the Muslims of Aleppo, Palestine, Rohingya, Kashmir, etc are asking? When is the help of Allah.
 
The words of the Quran and perfect. Every single word, Allah has chosen it so perfectly. Notice how they said متى - When. Not أين - where is the help of Allah? This was their Yaqeen, their certainty. They knew Allah's help was going to come. It was just a matter of when.
So even when the world doesn't respond, Allah does and how beautiful His response is. "Unquestionably, the help of Allah is near." This is all the hope we have left Ya Allah!
 
Don't ever give up. Hold on for a little bit longer for Allah's help. Be patient in the face of trials. The path to Jannah is surrounded by difficulties. But these trials, when a believer goes through it, it strengthens him and raises his ranks before His lord. 
Oh Allah, elevate the status of those who are struggling with difficulties in your path. Help them with your special help, grant them Sabr and reward them with Jannah. Help the people of Aleppo Ya Allah!
 
 

Thursday, December 8, 2016

The Special Slaves of Allah.




Assalamu Aleikum,
The Qur’an is a light and guidance for the believers. Its words are incomparable and makes the heart of the believer tremble when he or she hears the words of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى being recited. The one the touches me the most is this verse:


{25:63} And the (faithful) slaves of the Most Gracious (Allah) are those who walk on the earth in humility and sedateness, and when the foolish address them (with bad words) they reply back with mild words of gentleness.

{25:64} And those who spend the night in worship of their Lord, prostrate and standing.


Allah’s mercy is vast to the believers and even to the non-believers, in the last verses in surah Al Furqan Allah talks about slaves that He showers His mercy and love to because of certain characteristics and actions that they do, Allah calls them ibadur – Rahman and they have certain characteristics that is mentioned until the end of the surah. Because of the characteristics that they have, Allah pays special attention to them and shows them his mercy and love. I ask Allah to make me and all of my fellow sisters amongst them. The first characteristic or action that Allah mentions is that they are humble in whatever they do, whether it is walking in the street or at home. They do not display arrogance or pride in their looks, wealth or knowledge. They are humble in front of Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and when ignorant people talk to them or insult them they speak in a calm manner and control their anger. The first action that is beloved to Allah is the one that controls his or her anger and pardons the shortcomings of people. The next verse Allah mentions is the slaves that stand late at night performing tahajjud, who spend a third of the night in prostration asking forgiveness from their Lord. They are special to Allah because they sacrifice rest for Him. Allah mentions other characteristics until the end of the surah which are many and all them are categories not a group of people who have to apply to all the same characteristics. As Muslims, we should strive to become close and dear to Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى and acquire and implement these characteristics in our lives so we can be called ibadur- Rahman by Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَ تَعَالَى. May Allah help us to acquire these characteristics and guide us all to Jannah Inshallah


Sunday, November 27, 2016

TALK TO ALLAH. BREAK FREE


 
Let me tell you of someone who is better than your best friend





Those moment when we feel depressed, often for reasons we can't properly explain even, we yearn to talk to someone about how we feel. In those times we feel so low that we desperately want to talk to anyone, anyone who will listen, we forget that we have someone with us all the time, the All Hearing, the One who hears us all the time.

We pour our hearts out to people who hardly pay any attention to us, or even if they do, they will never understand us completely. They may judge us, consider us to be stupid even, but yet, in our desperation to just talk, we are willing to speak our thoughts out to people, forgetting that there is someone out there who understands you so totally because He is the One who created you.

We have a deep secret in our hearts that we don't want to tell anyone but to just get it out of our chest, we confide in people who will sometimes even betray our secrets, forgetting that there is someone out there with whom your secrets are totally safe.

We seek ways out of our problems that we are willing to ask help from people, forgetting that the one who put us in that situation is the only One who can get us out of it. Forgetting that the entire heavens and the earth function by His will and for Him to bring us out of our problem, all it takes is a simple word - "Be" and it is.

We get depressed because we have no sister, no mother, no friend, no family with whom we can talk to freely about - our fears, our wishes, our thoughts, even the most random ones... But you know what? Even if you forget it, there is always someone out there who is watching out for you. The only One who takes care of you and looks after you, even while you are asleep. Your Lord, the Most Compassionate, the most Understanding.

Pour your heart out to Him. Tell Him your secrets. Tell Him what your afraid of. Tell Him about what you want. Tell Him anything and everything. Because He just as we love to be heard, He loves to listen to us. He is the best friend you can ever have. The One who totally understands. The One who knows you inside out. The One who looks after you in those times when you don't look after your own self. Your Lord, the Most Gentle, the Most Kind. The One who is so, so close to you. The One who hears every ache in your heart. Every unsaid feeling. Everything.
 
So what's there to hide from Him? Feel free to talk to Him. And when you do so, feel yourself tearing free of the shackles of this world, your soul rejoicing in confiding with Allah - the One who created you.

 
Allah hears. Allah knows. Allah understands.


"And We have already created man and know what his soul whispers to him, and We are closer to him than [his] jugular vein"
Quran 50:16