Thursday, January 26, 2017

QURANIC REFLECTIONS: '... AND THESE ARE THE DAYS WHICH WE GIVE TO MAN IN TURNS'




I find this verse so, so comforting. I always find myself saying "These are the days which we give to man in turns" and SubhanAllah, it's a comfort to know that if I'm going through something difficult right now, then it was destined for me.

It's all part of Allah's plan but this verse also shows that change is something constant; it keep happening. Today you are sad, tomorrow you will be happy. Today you are defeated, tomorrow you will be successful. Nothing lasts forever. Happiness doesn't last forever and neither does sadness.

So today, you see someone really happy and deep down, you may even feel jealous but know that your turn will come. What you prayed for will come and today, you are closer to attaining it than you were yesterday. So just keep assuring your heart that Allah gives to people in turns. It may not be your turn right now, but it will be. It will come around.

I keep reciting this as a mantra. I see my mother fall ill, and I'll be like وَتِلْكَ الْأَيَّامُ نُدَاوِلُهَا بَيْنَ النَّاسِ and if she's ill today, she'll be ok tomorrow. I find myself in sadness or in hurt and I'll recite وَتِلْكَ الْأَيَّامُ نُدَاوِلُهَا بَيْنَ النَّاسِ. And seriously, saying it in Arabic sort of impacts my heart a lot more than in English. It's the power of the language of the Quran I guess. It's almost as though my heart instantly finds relief. Don't believe me? Try it for yourself 😊

And as much as this verse is a great comfort, it's also a great awakener. Just because you're happy and blessed now doesn't mean it's going to last. It's a reminder that we shouldn't be deluded by our happiness but that we accept and enjoy it when we have it, knowing deep down that it's not going to last. Because that's this Dunya. Nothing lasts forever. Change keeps happening and until we accept that, we can never move on.

Thursday, January 12, 2017

"NO WAY WILL I MARRY A NIQABI!"




Niqabis live a life of pressure, let me tell you that, particularly if you happen to live in a non-Muslim country. On one side, you've got people calling you a 'Terrorist! Take Cover!" and the classic "Go back to your own country" (Well thank you, I'm already in my own country). And on the other side it's the pressure from the family "Oh come on, you're too young to wear the Niqab. Enjoy your life more" and of course, the pressure of the world in general... 
 
Niqabis - relatable much?

So anyway, I'm going a bit personal today. And I'll get right into it. Why is it so difficult for a Niqabi to be married? Or I had better rephrase it- Why do Muslim men not want to marry Niqabis? 

I've had the answer to this question in the most bizzare ways. Let me highlight it here.

It's taboo

Actually, a matchmaker told this to my mother. And my mother was just lost for words. I mean, back in the day when the Sahaba women covered their faces, would anyone have told it straight at their faces that it's taboo? Seriously, when did obeying Allah and doing something for Him become taboo? 

It's too extreme
 
So yes, in today's world where the more skin you show, the more free you are, I guess they've got a point in saying Niqabis are extreme. I mean, look at it this way: They choose to be extremely modest so yeah, if you don't want to marry a Niqabi, then it's a valid point you've given. Too extreme indeed.

She's disgusting when she eats out

This again is what a matchmaker told my mother. So apparently, this particular groom was utterly disgusted with the phenomenon of a Niqabi lifting her Niqab to eat her food at the restaurant. Say we Niqabis actually eat disgusting, then how would you know your future wife is going to be a decent eater. I mean, not all people eat decently, right? So what's the big deal? 

 



And umm, since when did our eating become you problem?

She won't talk to guests when they come over after marriage

So apparently, this is how they think we Niqabis are going to react when guests come over

 

... When in fact, we're going to be pretty much like this
 

I mean seriously, do you think that just by wearing the Niqab, we transform into cold-blooded human being that can't tolerate to stay with others? Like, seriously? 

 
So the matchmakers have now started telling my mother that she should ask my sister to remove her Niqab if she has to get married. SubhanAllah, see what the Muslim Ummah is coming to! Of course, it was a flat no because even if it means not getting married, why should we compromise on our values of wearing the Niqab just because someone else doesn't like it? 
 
But you know what- this is a test. Niqabis in my country especially have a real hard time getting married because most men nowadays apparently don't like their wives being covered. Less Hijab she has, the greater her chances of marriage are.

 
But Allah is the one who has already chosen who is to get married to whom. And because we are wearing the Niqab in obedience to Allah, do you think Allah is just going to abandon you like that? He will test you and see if you will take off the Niqab (which unfortunately I've seen many Niqabis do) and if you persist in doing what you are doing, then In sha Allah, when the time is right, Allah will give the best partner. Don't despair dear Niqabis :)

And as a final note, here goes:

 

Saturday, January 7, 2017

THE JOURNEY OF A YOUNG NIQAABI


 
GUEST POST
 

 
'Sinners judge sinners for sinning differently'  - a phrase that I'm sure almost all of us have seen before.
 
Well if you don't know what it means, I'd love to enlighten you.
 
You see, it's the twenty first century and almost everyone can't help but judge the next person; we look at everyone's clothes, their social standing, their relationship status, who they associate themselves with, the acts they do in public and sometimes even try and pry into what they do in private. We judge people for the sins they might have committed and we love to share our newfound information with others, yet if someone were to share our sins with people, we might never feel like leaving our homes.
 
When people suddenly take a step in deen, we classify them as acting 'too holy'  or being a 'show off' yet if we take a step in deen, we might want to tell it to the world or keep it to ourselves. But buttercup, the thing is people's sins and people's good deeds are between them and Allah and our sins and our good deeds are between us and Allah.
 
Let me tell you about my journey and allow you to understand my rant above.
 
Well you see, growing up, my mum wouldn't ever allow me to wear sleeveless clothing or even knee high shorts. I never wore a dress without a leggings or pants underneath and if we were to go out at night I wasn't allowed to leave without a scarf.
 
I always thought it was embarrassing because other people my age or even few years older would wear mini skirts and have their hair loose all night. They were allowed to wear anything anytime. When we attended family occasions I felt odd, all my cousins would be in revealing clothes and I knew they also spoke about what I was wearing. From the age of 10 my mum would try and get me into a scarf as much as possible, and every time I got the opportunity I'd rip it off so fast. When we went on vacation or even to the pool, unlike everyone my age, I wore  'appropriate' clothing and I started to hate it even more and more.
 
Months before my 13th birthday, my family was fortunate enough to be able to go for umrah. During the journey I was only allowed to wear a jilbab out of the hotel. My mum made sure I didn't show a strand of hair.
 
Eventually when I reached the age of puberty, it was a year later than most of the girls in my class, my mum declared it that I can't leave the house without hijab, so I swindled my way about and would roll up my long sleeved clothing and let a little hair show. I would try and get a skinnier jeans or a shorter t-shirt. This went on for what seemed like horrible and long time.
 
In the beginning of 2016, my mum took me shopping to buy new clothes and swim wear for the vacation were going to take. And so I bought clothes, I bought really loose pants, long shirts, loose long sleeve tops and less skinnier jeans. The Friday before we left for our vacation, my mum pulled out a huge packet of black scarfs and told me to take some new ones. While picking the scarfs I came across a niqaab that my mum wore while we went for umrah. Messing around I tried it on and even laughed at how it looked on me. During that vacation, I wore figure fitting swimwear everyday to the beach and I wore tights a few times.
 
It was two weeks after I returned from the vacation, a Monday night, I entered the shower to take a ghusal and while in the shower I thought back to the day I tried on the niqaab.
And during my moment in the shower I remembered something that I learnt from an extra islamiaat class that my mum and I attended. Our teacher spoke about how when Allah chooses to guide somebody, that person should grip onto that thought of increasing their imaan so quickly that it won't even have a chance to move away.
 
So in that shower I gripped onto mine and decided that no matter what. I was going to go into niqaab.
 
When I came out of the bathroom I performed my maghrab salaah and proceeded to message the only niqaabi friend I had at that moment and told her the great news. I don't even think she knows how much our whatsapp conversation helped me with my journey into niqaab.
 
That night I randomly mentioned it to my mum and to the rest of my family. I don't think they were totally ready to hear what I had to say but I didn't let anything bad enter my ears.
 
And so the next morning February 2nd 2016 I started my journey of niqaab.
 
When people seen me at the initial stages they would say ''I wouldn't fully commit to it if I were you. Just try it out for a week or two. You are only 15 years old after all.'' I would just smile and nod at them but deep down in my heart I was saying to myself ''no matter what anybody tells me, I'm not wearing my niqaab for a week or two, I'm going to wear niqaab my whole life''.
 
And so I did it. Almost 11 months down the line and الحمد لله I have never had the thought of ever leaving my journey of niqaab.
 
When people bring up the question "Why did you go into niqaab?" I feel as though I can not really give them the answer they want to hear. But the real reason I went into niqaab is only because my Allah is the most majestic. If it were not for Allah the most high, I certainly  would have never been in niqaab.
 
I feel so safe and so modest with my niqaab on. Yes, I still have weak points of my imaan. And yes, I think my journey of niqaab has strengthened some parts of my imaan. But now when I now see someone with proper hijab, niqaab or even the burqa, I admire them for the strength they have, and when I see people who have not yet reached the level where others have, I admire them for still making an effort,.I am not the one to judge anyone. We all have our own struggles and our struggles do not need to be spoken about in a gossip column or anywhere else for that matter.
We should all just thank Allah for what he has given us and continue making dua for ourselves and one another.
 
And well here I am. I young niqaabi who is still in school, and has not let the media, family, friends, community and the world have a bad influence my decision of niqaab.
 
Also I am grateful to my wonderful mum for keeping up with such a difficult child like me and making sure that I went into hijaab. And I'm extremely grateful to Allah for everything including my wonderful mum.
 
- Zainab from South Africa
 
 
If you would like to share your Hijab or Niqab stories or experiences, send us an email on niqablovers@gmail.com and share your story to inspire Muslimahs all over!
 
* Click here to read other inspirations stories from other sisters, just like you: Guest Posts
 

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

"I'M GOING TO HAVE 50 BROTHERS IN JANNAH!"



The other day, my sisters are I (4 in total Alhamdulillah) were talking about how awesome it would be to have a brother. People actually call us a 'ladies hostel' because that's how many ladies we have at home lol so we were moaning about not having a brother. And then my sister was like, "I'm going to have 50 brothers in Jannah!" :)

And you know what? It's true. This Dunya, we don't get everything we want here and life isn't perfect. But, so what? If we live by the Quran and Sunnah, in obedience to Allah, then we can have everything we want in Jannah, In sha Allah, where the blessings are such that no eye has ever seen or no mind has ever perceived.


So it's ok if you didn't get that dress you couldn't afford- you can have something far more amazing in Jannah. It's alright if your skin isn't that perfect here- it'll be flawless in Jannah. It's ok if your life is not perfect here- it'll be complete in Jannah. And it's ok if I don't have a brother here. I can have not 50 but even 500 if I want in Jannah (probably too much to handle I guess?)


Oh and by the way, I recently created an Instagram account. I was playing around with my sisters' accounts and finally decided that I was going to have one of the own so here I am. Please give me a follow. My username is niqabi_nuances. Link here: www.instagram.com/niqabi_nuances