“In the name of Allah the most gracious the most merciful”
Assalaam alaykum to all my sisters,
I have been asked by someone to write an article on how I come to wearing a niqaab. So here goes!
I am a 28 year old practising Muslimah and most of my family are practising. We have had an Islamic upbringing and I wore a scarf from a young age all throughout high school, which was never an issue because everyone would wear one. Between the ages of 20-27 I would have days where I didn’t feel like wearing the head scarf so I would go out with friends uncovered... the tight jeans, high heels straightened hair, perfume and makeup you name it. I would go out with friends and have a so called “good time.” I never went clubbing or drinking- that was pushing it too far I knew my limits. You could say I was weak on the deen. I’d pray the odd salaah here and there but still that did not change me.
After 6-7 years of that, one day I sat down and thought to myself is this it? Is this my life? For how long am I going to be like this? Surely Allah can’t be happy with me! These men chase me but don’t marry me, they want a haram relationship with me, is that all I’m good for? At this time I felt so low and depressed, stressed and ashamed of myself of the life that was so easy to live because when it’s wrong it’s always easy.
Being around the company of friends I had at the time did not help either, so I distanced myself from almost all of my friends. I felt this at the time because my relationship with Allah was non-existent. But the best cure and the best medicine for depression and stress was the one Allah gave Muhammad s.a.w and gave to the entire ummah and he says:
So exalt [ Allah ] with praise of your Lord and be of those who prostrate [to Him]. (15:98)
And worship your Lord until there comes to you the certainty (death). (15:99)
This is the cure, this is the medicine. I knew what I had to from then on.
I got a job 2 years ago so that took up most of my time even on my days off I was too tired to go out so that saved me from doing the wrong things. A couple of months after Ramadhan started, it was a good starting point for me; I’d make the effort to pray and fast and stay away from the haram. In Ramadhan, I’d make dua and repent for the things that I had done, I wanted Allah to forgive me so bad. I just wanted to start again and forget that life I lived, I wanted to be happy and the only way I would find true happiness and contentment was going to be through pleasing Allah. I started covering more and praying often, I’d miss Isha sometimes if I finished work late but I got there eventually.
Anyway my cousin was planning his big day to get married and it was exciting, I wanted to get married as well lol! So now you know what my duas included, from then on for Allah to bless me with a righteous god fearing husband who will help me along the way to Jannah because that was my goal. So this next part people might judge me but hey we’ve all been there and done that so here goes.
June last year I met my husband who is a revert. He has been practising for 10 years SubhaAllah, may Allah continue to guide him and make him even stronger and protect him from the evils of the dunya Ameen. So we got to talking and got along like a house on fire. He was looking for marriage and so was I. He taught me and shared a lot of knowledge with me in the time we spoke to each other, I was actually ashamed of myself because Allah blessed me with Islam from the day I was born and I abused it to my advantage and on the other hand there was this man that came to Islam 10 years ago and he was so passionate about the deen, it was a way of life for him he studied so much to get to where he is today SubhanAllah... may Allah increase him in knowledge Ameen.
Everything I learnt and all the information gathered from this man, I went away and acted upon most of the things but other things took time. He would talk to me about covering and give me advice that was going to benefit me in the hereafter. Funny thing is though most of the women in my family cover up and wear niqaab and I thought it was a beautiful thing and always said when I get married I’m going to wear it for my husband, but that’s all nice but my intention had to be for the sake of Allah not for the sake of my husband. I made dua to Allah to guide me in that matter of taking the step to wearing the niqaab. I thought about everything at that time like when I go out now all these men look at me like I’m a piece of meat, come ask for my number and so on and I thought why should I sin for all them men that look at me and that my beauty should be hidden away and guarded for the man that I will one day get married to.
“O Prophet! Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks (veils) all over their bodies (i.e. screen themselves completely except the eyes or one eye to see the way). That will be better, that they should be known (as free respectable women) so as not to be annoyed. And Allaah is Ever Oft Forgiving, Most Merciful” [Al-Ahzaab 33:59]
Beginning of July I woke up one morning and felt this strong feeling that it’s my time to wear it I want to wear it and it’s the right thing to do so I got in my car, went to an Islamic shop and bought a niqaab. I cried all the way home because the feeling was unreal. I came home, prayed 2 rakaat nafil and made my intention and put it on. The feeling and the adrenalin rush that rushed through me was unreal. I was overwhelmed by this feeling Allah had blessed me and guided me. May Allah guide me on the right path and give me the strength and the blessings to continue on this path Ameen.
I remember that day I rang my husband who I wasn't married to at the time and said I’m coming to see you I have something to tell you. He was at work at the time so I was just going to a drive by and stop for a couple minutes so when I got there, I saw him standing on the edge of the road. A million and one things went through me, like what will he think what’s he going to say, so I pulled up and opened the window to the passenger and he smiled at me and said to me "You look beautiful mashaAllah."
Couple of weeks passed and I was getting used to wearing the niqaab. I never felt so much peace and contentment in my life. I wasn’t depressed or stressed. I was happy for once SubhanAllah. My family were very supportive and I had a proud mother, to see her daughter change her life around I can only begin to imagine how she must of felt. I would go out to work, go shopping, do everything normal but the difference- I was just covered up. I would get different reactions off people. Some people would stare and others would utter nasty racist words. Why not come and talk to me and ask me about what I’m doing? I will make you understand. Why should I have to compromise my religious beliefs to please other people, when it’s not harming them in any way? The funny thing was a lot of these ignorant people were Muslims. It would hurt but each time I contained myself and carried on and just think it’s not their fault. There are just ignorant and under educated about Islam. However never once did I regret my decision that I made. I was pleasing Allah and that’s all that mattered.
"And We created you in pairs" (78:8)
And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought. (QURAN 30:21)
And Allah has made for you from yourselves mates and has made for you from your mates sons and grandchildren and has provided for you from the good things. Then in falsehood do they believe and in the favor of Allah they disbelieve? (QURAN 16:72)
Friday 25th of October after Jummah Salaah, me and my husband prayed our nikaah in my local masjid. A;l my family were present and supportive and happy that I found somebody that will look after and protect me and help me in the deen.
11 months on and I am still married Alhamdulillah. I’ve seen big changes in my life. I’ve gone through trials and tribulations and I’ve stayed firm on my beliefs, Alhamdulillah. I am where I am today through patience.
Life is not easy but none of us will get away without being tested. I ask Allah to test me in dunya and not in my deen. Allah says in the Quran in Surah Baqarah:
“We will test you with something of fear, and hunger and loss of wealth, and souls and vegetation. And give glad tidings to those who have patience. Those who if in any difficulty or trial, or tribulation occurs to them or happens to them, they say: ‘Verily We are from Allah and to Allah we return.’ They are those who will receive prayers from their Lord and Mercy and it is those who are guided.”
I give all my sisters sincere advice. Please try and change your ways and follow the Quran and Sunnah. The dunya is the lowest place, a prison for the believers and paradise for the non-believers. That’s why you will see it’s so easy and exciting and thrilling to get caught up in the worldly life because Shaytaan's promise is that he will lead you astray. He will lead you to the path of destruction, because Shaytaan knows Allah has promised him the hellfire, so he wants to take as many people with him as he can and most of the people in hellfire will be women. The Prophet s.a.w says
“I was shown the hellfire and the most of its dwellers were women” (Hadith Bukhari)
Who says you can’t be a covering, believing Muslimah in this society and wear a niqaab? Let me tell you I still feel beautiful everyday. Even more so with a niqaab on. I integrate fully into British society, I go to work and do the things that every normal person does so if people would just have that perspective and not judge me based on my exterior, my niqaab should not be a barrier. See me for the person I am beyond the niqaab. I am a practicing Muslimah striving to seek the mercy and blessings of Allah; He has bestowed blessings upon blessings upon me and has always helped me when I have been in dire need.
My Sisters in Islam don’t let the shroud in your grave be the first time you cover up. It will be too lateto ask Allah for forgiveness and guidance. May Allah protect us and guide in this world forgive us and accept our efforts and may Allah accept this message I deliver. Forgive me if I offended anyone. Strive to be the best you can. We are all Amanah from Allah so guard yourselves. We're all precious so aspire to be like the wives of the Prophet. Take them as your role models and In sha Allah, He will shower endless blessings onto you.
You are all in my duas and I love you all for the sake of Allah!
Note: If you would like to share your Hijab or Niqab stories or experiences, send us an email on firstname.lastname@example.org and share your story to inspire Muslimahs all over!