"HOW DEATH OPENED MY EYES TO THE TRUTH" - NIQAB STORY

A calamity that brings you closer to Allah is indeed the greatest blessing of all. Allah sends you trials, only to purify you and open up your eyes to the truth. Seek Him and He will guide you to Light

GUEST POST

Assalamu'alaykum,

It was the Summer of 2013, and actually during the blessed month of Ramadhan, when I decided to make the beautiful change in my life - Alhamdulillah.

Until around May 2012, I was never practising. I was the usual teenager - doing whatever pleased me, and never really thought about our true purpose here. Life, for me then, was all about friends, and making the 'most' of life. Little did I know, them 'friends' and the things that I did during then, would turn out to be the biggest regret of my life. 

Although my father was always one to encourage us to read Salah, cover ourselves, and was big on instilling deen into our lives - it did not really affect us. And honestly admitting, we did not follow Islam, TRULY, from the heart, then.

I wore hijab, then, because my dad expected it. No other reason - May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) forgive me. So when I found any slight opportunity to remove it, I ensured that I did. I never wore it, then, for the sake of Allah. 

This was all until, May 2012. Alhamdulillah, that month was the turning point for me.

Sadly, someone I grew up with, passed away from cancer. She was only 19 when she left this dunya and returned to Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala. Her being so young, and also just the shock of the illness she died from - cancer, further overwhelmed me. Until that day, never had I heard of anybody die from an illness like cancer, at such a young age.

(May Allah (subhanahu wa ta'aala) pardon her and grant her the best of Jannah.)

I found myself then thinking, what guarantee do I have that I am not next? If Allah took my soul now, how would I be able to answer Him? Never had I prayed Salah regularly, nor observed hijab properly, and so on. I realized I had so much to answer for. SubhanAllah.

On the very same day she passed away, I remember being seated on the prayer mat, crying my eyes out to the One who created this dunya, to the One who created me. I realized just exactly what I had been ignoring, all this time - the fact that there is no escape from death, regardless of age and place; and that it will most certainly come - no matter what.

I remember reflecting on my past. All the wrong that I had done came pouring into my mind. Astagfirullah. My guilt and fear only increased more. I desperately wanted to undo the past so bad, and kept kicking myself as to why I was the evil person I was.. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala forgive all my sins - major and minor.

So from that day, Alhamdulillah, I made a promise that I will never miss my Salah. Everything changed from then. I started to become more attached to the deen and, it actually, became my whole life. Which is how it should be anyway.

Slowly slowly, I started to make small but steady changes in my life, Alhamdulillah. My dress sense eventually changed. I kept thinking to myself, 'if I died right now, in this state, would Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala be pleased with me?' And from thereon, I made the decision to wear the abaya, Alhamdulillah.

As months went by, and my attachment and love for Allah increased, all that mattered to me was Islam. I remember literally looking, walking, talking, sleeping, eating, and always remembering the Most High, the Most Merciful. Coming close to deen was the best thing that ever happened to me.

Anyway, I remember being in a conversation, with a close friend. We were sat discussing the jilbab/abaya, and I think she asked me something like "Would you ever wear the Niqab?" 

I remember myself saying, "I've worn the jilbab, that is enough for me. I will never wear the Niqab." 

(Note, I said this in a sincere and respectful way, not in a mocking manner.)

And then, a few months down the line - the same friend and myself were, again, having another discussion about the Niqab. I mentioned to her, how it is, now, something that I will definitely wear one day. I never said when - but I just knew that it is something I definitely wanted to do in the future, (if Allah willed.)

Subhanallah, I find it beyond amazing how Allah can place noor into your hearts, and completely change your mind, to doing something you said you would never do. Allahu Akbar. He truly is the Turner of hearts. 

As weeks went by, I began thinking more of the Niqab. Also, at that point in my life, I was going through something quite personal and difficult. Through this test, I didn't want my iman to slip. I wanted to it to keep raising. I wanted to do something for the deen, and wanted it to become a means of bringing me closer to Allah subhanahu wa ta'aala.

I then started to ask my best friend about the Niqab, as, she has always worn it from a very young age - Ma sha Allah. I remember her saying people have different opinions about it but nowadays, due to the fitna in society, it has become fardh on us. After hearing that, although I still hadn't made my mind up completely on whether I was going to wear it or not, my heart definitely became more encouraged and opened to the idea - Alhamdulillah. 

Significantly, another incident also contributed towards my decision to wear the Niqab, Alhamdulillah. It was, once, when I went into town during Ramadhan 2013. The stares and dirty looks from men angered me. I always felt guilty and wanted to put an end to these stares. I remember going home, and contemplating on the unfortunate fact of how we are sadly, experiencing mass levels of fitna, today. 

That, then, made me think about how, if I put the Niqab on, it would In sha Allah stop the dirty looks, and serve as a protection from fitna, In sha Allah. 

I also thought about the reward that I would, In sha Allah, get from the Almighty, if I took this step.

I then, also, remember speaking to another friend, who also wears the Niqab Ma sha Allah. 

What she said to me, next, was the turning point SubhanAllah:

"The reason you're thinking of wearing the Niqab, is because Allah wants you to wear it. Good thoughts come from Allah." 

SubhanAllah, when I read that message, I can't even describe the emotions that overtook me. All I knew was that there was no turning back now. I was now a 100% sure on wearing it.

And there we have it. 

31st July 2013 was the day that my Niqab journey began. Alhamdulillah. 

I cannot even begin to put into words what the Niqab has done to my life. Since wearing it, I feel further fearless, empowered, and beautiful! 

Whilst the ignorant mock and laugh at us, I laugh at them. Why? Because they remain heedless of the beauty and power of the Hijab/Niqab. Only those who wear it truly for the sake of Allah will understand exactly just how it liberates and empowers us women! 

For those that see the Niqab as a sign of oppression, in reality, it is YOUR mind that is oppressed. You have cowardly allowed society and media brainwash you.

Whereas, us Muslimahs? We are strong enough to abandon what society, media and people think. We wear the Hijab/Niqab proudly, regardless of what people have to say; and will continue to do so In sha Allah. 

You claim that we're weak beings; but how does that even begin to make sense, when WE are the ones in control of what you see, of us? To me, that's total freedom.

Now remind me again - who are the weak and oppressed?

Note: If you would like to share your Hijab or Niqab stories or experiences, send us an email on niqablovers@gmail.com and share your story to inspire Muslimahs all over!