'For some, it was just a Niqab. For me it was a reminder to skip the pleasures of this world, because Jannah is just far more tempting.'
GUEST POST BY SISTER TAWHIDA
In the beginning, I was just enjoying the new country, no Abaya to be seen, and a simple scarf placed on my head... lol not even wrapped. But anyway, this was going on for a year. After that I decided to wear full on Hijab, but sadly I would end up styling it, as it was a normal thing to do. The Abaya was on and off, as I went
to school and had to wear a uniform. But I would wear it wherever it would be 'suitable' like shopping. This went on for another 2 years.
But then I got tired of all this... It would take hours dressing up. And take the rest of the day constantly fixing the hijab if it got 'out of place'. It was frustrating... I didn't want to care so much! And not to mention my prayers would get disturbed as I constantly thought of how many guys looked at me, or this and that. Then school began to be a real problem. Although I was shy and never had a slip-up of my morals, boys always bothered me, stalked me till my home even! It was really just disturbing. I eventually left school, and started home schooling instead. I was really depressed about staying home, as I would not be able to get out as often. But THIS is what changed my life, and I only know it now! I wanted to get closer to Allah, to get through my depressions, to just find peace.
By now I wore Abaya and Hijab everywhere. But that just didn't cut it for me. I still got the same attention. I did not want to sin, because I knew my gaze would wander if I got such attention. Soon enough, Allah gave me a solution. My sister introduced to me the Niqab, the miracle, my peace. It was as if I was invisible, like I would get my work done with zero disturbances. Finallyy!
To make such changes was Alhamdulillah very easy for me because I had 2 other sisters who went through the same phases as me. We were always together where ever we would go, and it was easy to be bold. People who knew us from before looked at us with respect, respect for our brave decision. I'm proud of myself and how much I have evolved! It all took time, but I finally got the peace I was looking for. Because no guy wants to bother the 'too good girl'. I mean, there was no fun in that right? Heck, I say that's just GREAT! This is a part of me now, my identity. Now that I feel firm in my faith, I'm ready to go back to America, In sha Allah, and be an inspiration to all my sisters in Islam! What better way is there to do Jihad, than to show the harsh disbelievers how much pride I have in my religion?
This piece of cloth sisters, changed my life! It made my faith strong in so many levels, it's just unexplainable! It's my protection, my reminder to be aware of my actions, and I won't doubt that this very well acts as a reminder to the brothers as well SubhanAllah!
Thanks for reading my story and please make Dua for me :) May Allah give us all courage and guide us unto the straight path.
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