LOVE, RELATIONSHIPS AND ISLAM- WHAT'S RIGHT AND WHAT'S NOT

Some of you might not agree with what I'm going to tell here, but please spare a few minutes to read it. Love, relationships and Islam.... It's really something that needs to be talked about, and that too particularly in the present times, where not many people understand the gravity of entering into a haraam relationship.

At a young age, it's natural that you may have an attraction for the opposite sex and Islam teaches us on how to control it. And why should you control it? Because when you enter into a relationship, you lose your modesty, your dignity, your virtue and your respect. I know- almost everyone has a boyfriend/girlfriend, but that doesn't mean you should as well. Forgive me for saying this, but friends are usually the main reason for your getting into a relationship. If you choose a good friend, he/she will advise you against it. That's what a real friend would do. And if your friends have relationships themselves, you would naturally incline that way too. This is why Islam stresses so much in choosing the best friends.

“A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace.” [Bukhari, Muslim]

Getting into a relationship may seem tempting, but trust me, I have seen and heard enough to know that it is the total opposite. Why do we need to go looking for love in the haraam way when Allah Ta'ala has already chosen someone for us. And when the time is right, Allah will reunite you with your spouse, In Sha Allah. This takes patience, yes, but in the meantime, why should you go looking for the wrong person when Allah has written down someone perfect for you?

Let me make this clear: love is not haraam or halaal. It's a natural emotion we are all created with. But what follows your attraction is what matters and we are definitely accountable for how we get carried away with these feelings. Remember that Islam never restricts anything for us: it just shows us a purer, more beautiful and perfect alternative. And in the case of love, it's a natural feeling, but when you go seeking for it in any means that Islam has prohibited, then that definitely is haraam, and Islam has shown us a pure alternative for it in the form of marriage.

Males interacting with females and vice versa is prohibited in Islam, and all types of 'dating' has no room in our religion. It might seem to be something really attractive, but it's not. Wallahi, you can never achieve love in the haraam way. If you seek it that way, there would be no blessings in it, and it would never be long-lasting. How can we ever expect to find happiness when we have been disobeying Allah? How can we expect happiness and love when we look for it in the haraam way?

Love is definitely not how it is portrayed in movies. Real-life is so much more different, and have you noticed that generally when love in movies end with marriage, it only actually starts afterwards? Don't get carried away with what you see in movies. It's nothing but a false facade and the truth it what Islam teaches us.

Don't ever enter into a haram relationship and hope to end it in the halaal way. Remember, that intentions are everything. You can never expect there to be love, barakah or happiness in your marriage life when you have sought it through haraam ways.

All what I have said may seem harsh to some of you, but it's the truth. If you do have any relationships, end it for the Sake of Allah. It's definitely not worth it at all. It will cost you your happiness and may Allah forbid, but it may even cost you your Jannah. Is that worth it?

And as for those who have entered into their marriage through haraam relationships, remember that so long as you seek Allah and seek His forgiveness, He will cleanse you and give you genuine love and happiness. After all, isn't this what we all want?

"Whatever written of Truth and benefit is only due to Allah’s Assistance and Guidance, and whatever of error is of me alone. " May Allah make us all benefit from it, In Sha Allah!

A DISTURBING INCIDENT THAT HAPPENED THROUGH FACEBOOK

There is always huge wisdom behind Allah's orders, and the same goes with the Mahram issue. For a Muslim, the most important thing is his/her modesty, and it's extremely worrying to see that modesty isn't taken as a highly important and respectful characteristic anymore. Somehow, most people-Muslims included- restrict the concept of modesty simply to their attire and nothing more. One important thing to be remembered is that Hijab, for both men and women, is not only to with with clothes. Rather, it's a complete set of morals and conduct.

Back to the topic now. I've heard more than one story about intermixing on the internet, particularly on Facebook and chatrooms, and how it has lead to extremely distressful consequences. I know that Muslims often overlook that fact that intermixing with their non-mahrams in not allowed in Islam, and most of them don't see it as a sin in the first place. May Allah guide me, you and everyone else! I did put up on Twitter about the dangers of intermixing with non-mahram, but most people get the message only after they have read some real story about the dangers of Facebook and other social networking sites. So, I heard a story- a very, very disturbing one, and I just have to share it with all of you. It's true and it did happen, which is why I'm telling it now.

A girl and a man started communicating via Facebook. They got familiar with each other, and very soon, they fell in love and expressed their feelings to each other.. Not much later afterwards, they decided to meet up at a local restaurant. So, they set up a date, and decided that they would meet at such an such a place, etc, etc. Now both, the girl and the man went to the restaurant at the time appointed, and Subhanallah, none of them ever expected to see what they saw: The girl and man communicating all that while on Facebook where in fact a daughter and her very own father! What a shock it must have been for both of them! Apparently, both of them had gone under different Facebook usernames, so they didn't know who they were talking to. But see where it lead. After all the confessions of love, it turns out to be a father and daughter... Imagine the situation of the mother when she got to know all about it? May Allah save all Muslims from the Fitna of the internet. Aameen!

I'm not saying here that you shouldn't use the internet. What I'm saying here is that you should be aware of your limits, aware of Shariah, aware of what you're doing, and more importantly, aware of the fact that wherever you may be, Allah is watching you. This thought alone is enough to save a true Muslim from any shameful behaviour.

By the way, this isn't the only story I've heard about the consequences of intermixing online. Almost everyday, people are being plunged into extra-marital relationships, haraam dating, etc, and the simple reason behind this is that people aren't aware of the consequences of it. When a man and woman talk to each other alone, Shaytan is the third person in their midst, and he will try his best to create feeling that ought not to be created between those two people. Remember that whatever sin you may be doing, or whatever sin you may already have done, Allah is watching you, and He will bring the truth out in the Aakhira, if not in this world itself. Nothing is hidden from Him.

If there's anyone of you reading this has any relationship with a man/woman online, the only bit of advice I can give you is to fear Allah. You know it's a sin now, and you know what it may lead to, so stay away from it. All relationships start with a 'Hi' and end up in God knows what, so stick to the Shariah and follow what Allah has asked us to. Please do steer clear from interacting with non-mahrams!